I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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