awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
