at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
