maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
