His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
