I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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