i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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