I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
