sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
