just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
