the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
