Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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