The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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