how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
