Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
