his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
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