Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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