I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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