Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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