I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
