theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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