just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
