i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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