pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
