Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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