pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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