I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
