No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
