Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
