she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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