Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
...so i touched it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
