I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
