I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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