he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
