He asked to "fluff my boner.."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
