Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
