I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so that wasnt chicken after all
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
