Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
