Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
