i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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