I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
