After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
operation harelip BJ is a go
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
