i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
