no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
