I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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