There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
