feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
