i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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