Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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