So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
