Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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