Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
false alarm. still invincible.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
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I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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