Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
