Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
