dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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