dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
