I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
