Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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